We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she looked like the before picture.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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