After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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