After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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