Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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