I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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