Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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