you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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