just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
