oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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