he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
