I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
