thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
