Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
