She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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