We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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