i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we're making bets on your personal life
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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