You work out of a Hotel?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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