chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
