Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
