well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
