Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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