this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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