I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
