They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
