Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(949): View more from California

dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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(847): View more from Illinois

Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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(260): View more from Indiana

A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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(239): View more from Florida

Missed another period

(1-239): View more from Florida

I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?

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(443): View more from Maryland

She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

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(310): View more from California

I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.

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