she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
