Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize