Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
