you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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