corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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