My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Drake has all the answers
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
