I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
