ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
