When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im holly from the hills drunk
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
