So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
