you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize