yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
