i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Houston, we have a blender
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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