what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
