I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
