Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
