Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
