Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
