stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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