I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
