I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
