saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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