some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
