He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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