College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
