My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
