I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
