The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
