i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
