it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
