I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
