My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
