I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
