i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
