don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
