Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
