Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
