I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
