Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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