He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
