He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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