You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
