he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
