He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
