i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
