Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
