Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
