but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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