R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize