i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love you.
Bad choice
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