in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
