i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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